I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
