we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
