Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Randomize
