We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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