So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
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he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
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If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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