we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
