At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
