Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
