Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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