I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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