There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
