Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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