Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
