everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
