If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
