The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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