Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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