Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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