I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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