Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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