and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
