Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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