Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
