I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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