drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
