Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize