Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
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