Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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