just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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