Me. At least after what I've been through.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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