I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
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