I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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