i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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