Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
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And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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