I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
