I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
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my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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