Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Couch. On fire.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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