My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
