ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
