he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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