I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
