How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
