I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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