You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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