Me. At least after what I've been through.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
