Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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