What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
We were destined to go to rehab together
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
