Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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