Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
