If that was your dad, he is hot
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
