Well douche your snatch and let's go!
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
