Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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