i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
