hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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