***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
