you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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