Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
