So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
