I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
