Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
