I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
