My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
