what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
