He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
