I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
