She is in my trunk
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
